


Being A Spy Takes A Real Toll On Your Personal Life

by JustGalactic



Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: AU, Angst, M/M, besides the swap/premise itself. mostly canon compliant until the end., but also. it ends happy i PROMISE, some - Freeform, tatiana and curt are ultimate mlm/wlw solidarity and i will die on this hill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:07:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25577809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustGalactic/pseuds/JustGalactic
Summary: Agent Curt Mega gets back in the spy game after losing his best friend, a Russian agent who he shouldn't have even been talking to in the first place. But then, on his first mission back, he meets a tall, handsome, British stranger, and things get a whole lot more complicated.Spies Are Forever but Tatiana and Owen swap places! (also I take some liberties and it ends happy goddamnit) I have "Major Character Death" tagged because... well.... y'know... but nobody really stays dead.
Relationships: Agent Curt Mega & Tatiana Slozhno, Owen Carvour/Agent Curt Mega
Comments: 7
Kudos: 30





	1. Spies Never Die... Well Maybe This One Does

**Author's Note:**

> i rewatched it for the third time today and became possessed and started writing this. blease enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rewatched it for the third time today and became possessed and started writing this. blease enjoy!

Curt had been tortured for a few days, but it was all stuff a spy of his experience should be able to handle. He was more hurt that his best friend, who he’d sent a distress signal to more than a day ago, had yet to show up. 

Instead, there was just another Russian agent, ready to torture secrets out of him. A large hat covered most of her face in shadow, so her features were barely recognizable. The other agent that had let her in gave Curt a sadistic grin.

“Oh, you’re in for it now,” he laughed. “She’s the toughest I’ve ever seen. We brought her in from the outside.”

She looked dangerous, but not like anything Curt couldn’t handle. She reached into her bag, and instead of pulling out a gun, or maybe some sort of heavy tool, like he’d expected, she produced a large, white feather. Curt’s eyes went wide.

“Tell me what you know,” she said simply, in a deep, gruff voice.

“Never.” Then, she began tickling him with the feather behind his ears. Immediately, Curt felt himself spilling state secrets he’d sworn to never tell. Cynthia was going to kill him. 

When she’d had enough, the woman stepped away, putting the feather back into her bag and pulling out a handgun.

“How could you possibly know that I’m painfully ticklish behind my ears?” Curt asked, expecting that he was about to be shot, so he might as well drag out his life for as long as he could.

“Personal history helps,” she said, and as Curt’s mind tried to piece together what she meant, she cocked the gun, and shot the other Russian agent. 

“Tatiana!” he cried with relief as he realized.

“Took you long enough.”

“Geez, I thought you were really gonna kill me,” Curt said, as Tatiana untied him, helped him to his feet, and took off her disguise. 

“Got to keep you on your toes, agent,” she said with a wink. 

“Wha-?” the Russian agent she’d shot who was now crumpled to the floor mumbled in confusion.

“Well, you see dear, I played you,” Tatiana said, crouching down beside him. “And now we’re going to escape with these blueprints that my dear friend agent Mega so skillfully swiped from under your nose.”

“But you’re… you’re one of us,” he said, coughing up blood.

“I work for no one,” she replied with a snarl. “Let’s go, Mega.” 

They ran through the facility, Tatiana leading the way, and Curt trailing behind, both on high alert. Curt sent a call to Barb, but ignored most of her helpful advice, and was interrupted by a call from his boss.

“Mega, where the fuck are you?”

“Curt, we need to stay quiet,” Tatiana hissed.

“Who the hell was that?” Cynthia questioned. “Is that the damned Russian girl again?! Mega, I’ve told you before, just because you might want to fuck her-”

“Ew,” Tatiana muttered.

“Nope, definitely not,” Curt said. He would’ve laughed at the outrageous notion if his job weren’t in jeopardy at the moment.

“Stop fraternizing with the Russians, Mega! In case you forgot, we’re in a cold war! Eliminate that girl, and get back here with those blueprints. Now,” She insisted, punctuating her demand by hanging up the call.

“Well, looks like your boss wants you to kill me.”

“Crazy how you managed to slip away at the last moment. Again,” Curt said with a grin. Tatiana smiled back, and they crept deeper into the facility. As they ran, Curt pulled a banana seemingly from nowhere, and began to eat.

“Really? Now?”

“What? I’m hungry. Not my fault your guys tried starving me to get the information.” As he finished, Curt tossed the peel on the floor behind him. Tatiana gave him a disgusted look. “The whole place is gonna be dust soon anyways,” he said, ignoring how she rolled her eyes at him.

They found the center of the compound, and Curt went to work setting up an improvised explosive to blow the whole place to the ground. 

“Think five minutes gives us enough time?” Curt asked as he finished the bomb.

“Too easy. Try four.” 

Curt nodded, putting three minutes into the explosive, and sealing their fates. The bomb started to tick, and the duo started running. They ran into agents, and easily shot their way through the clumsy security guards and Russian spies. And then, not watching where she was going, Tatiana felt the world slip from under her feet as she slipped on Curt’s banana peel.

He heard her cry and turned around, only to see his partner on the ground, wincing in pain. He reached out to her, but a large beam fell to the ground between them, and he knew he had no hope of saving her. With his heart beating out of his chest, and tears in his eyes, agent Curt Mega escaped the burning facility, and left his best friend to die. 


	2. Stuck In The Past

Curt spent months drinking himself into a foggy haze night after night, not even leaving his bedroom to shave his growing monstrosity of a beard. Still, even when he’d had bottle after bottle of vodka, he couldn’t drown out the memory of Tatiana’s cry of pain echoing through his head. 

She’d been the only one to really understand him. 

When they met, he was still an arrogant, smart-mouthed American spy, and she was a Russian agent, looking for an opportunity to defect. Curt Mega brought the moment she’d been waiting for. 

Once they’d managed to convince Curt’s mother that there was no way in hell the two of them were getting married, Curt and Tatiana holed up in her safe house. They stayed there until the Russians were convinced Tatiana was dead. 

This of course, took some time, and allowed for countless drunken late night confessions. Curt had been wondering if he should tell her his biggest secret, the one he kept from even his own mother. To his chagrin, Curt’s drunken self took care of the task for him when he started waxing poetic about how hot guys with British accents were at two in the morning.

Tatiana’s only response was, “British accents can be hot. Not so crazy about the ‘guy’ part though.”

And from then on, the two were thick as thieves, much to Cynthia’s dismay. 

These memories flooded Curt with guilt and pain, so much that he couldn’t even muster the strength to lift another bottle to his lips.

The calls from Cynthia were persistent. Curt claimed he’d sustained injuries from his mission, and needed time to recover, but that time was running out, and Cynthia’s patience was already running incredibly thin. So, when Curt could no longer ignore her, and had decided he had to stop running from his past, he answered one of her calls.

“Fucking finally,” she sighed. “I’m sending you the briefing for your next mission, you should be able to find-”

“Woah, slow down,” Curt grumbled. “How do you even know that I want back in? Maybe I answered because I’m quitting.”

“You’re not quitting,” Cynthia said, matter-of-factly. “You’re going to Budapest.”

Her carelessness and bitter attitude stung, as Curt was still grieving. Of course, she had no idea. When he told her the Russian agent had died in the blast, she’d celebrated. 

Cynthia truly had absolutely no idea.


End file.
